


breathe

by addove



Category: Dragalia Lost (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Background Alex/Elisanne, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Minor Injuries, Nightmares, Zethia & Notte Are Mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23505577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addove/pseuds/addove
Summary: "Uh… sorry, Elly, I didn't…" he drifted off, his gaze falling back down to his hand and the cut that ran across his palm. She frowned as well, not knowing what to do about him. Elisanne did, however, know what was her first priority, leading her to stand up and light the candle on Euden's desk. With another glance in his direction, she made her way to the closet in the far corner of the room where she knew he kept his medical kit."May I know what happened, your highness?" She asked.He was quiet for a moment, his answer hesitant. "I was simply surprised when I woke up. That is all.""Oh? Is that all?"
Relationships: Elisanne & Euden (Dragalia Lost)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	breathe

**Author's Note:**

> hey why the fuck isnt Elisanne & Euden a tag. what the fuck. what th

The night always served as the most peaceful hour in the Halidom. It felt almost like another realm entirely, she thought. The silence in some of the halls, the only light illuminating them being the moon herself. Even the chatter coming from the common rooms, the late-night cooking in the kitchens, or the restless sleep some of the residents had was peaceful, in its own way. Through the months Elisanne had lived in the castle, she had found the nights to be a sort of comfort for her. They weren't much, perhaps, but they were also everything. There was a key difference between the yelling, the laughing, the dancing, the training, and the arguing to the peaceful snores from across the hall, to the excited whispers coming from a sleepover a few doors down, and to the wind whispering her name as she patrolled the castle grounds. It was a strange sense of normalcy to her, that akin to peace.

That night was different, though. Elisanne could tell. The winds were stiff, and it was far more humid than normal. Summer wouldn't come for a few more months at least, she thought. That also brought her to the unusually quiet night. Perhaps it was usually peaceful at the castle, yes, but it was quiet that night. There were no owls flying by, no bugs chirping. There were barely any residents making any noise, let alone any snores from Luca's room. Elisanne held the nervous feeling close to her, feeling the anxiety bubble up as she walked around the Halidom.

Elisanne entered the castle once more, preparing to finish her last round before Ranzal took his shift. Her pace was slow, but not to the point where you could tell she was slacking off. While Elisanne did take her job seriously, she _really_ didn't want to wake Ranzal up. He was always a nightmare to deal with in the mornings, let alone at night. In fact, she dreaded it so much, she vaguely considered letting him sleep and taking the entire night shift herself. That, however, wouldn't come into fruition, as she was so tired she could _feel_ the bags under eyes. The day had been rough, after all. Elisanne simply wished to crawl under the comforter with Alex and not wake up until noon.

Any semblance of that dream had to wait, however. She had a job to do, after all. And Elisanne never did half the work she was required to do. So she walked through the halls for the last time that night, the only sound being of her shoes clicking against the tiled floor. With each hall she passed through, her shift came closer to an end. The palace was clear, not a sign of any danger from outside the walls or from the watchtowers and its occupants. The night was still, she noticed.

The peace came crashing down when she turned the next corner. A single step forward and her patrol was interrupted with a shout and a loud crash-- the sound of glass falling and shattering. With a quickened pace, Elisanne chased after the noise. The grip she held on her lance tightened as she came to a stop in front of a door-- a familiar door --and pushed it open without a second thought. She pushed her anxiety down and readied her weapon.

"Your highness, are you-" Elisanne stopped. The room was empty, save for her, the prince, and a broken vase.

In front of her, Euden sat in front of the vase. His gaze rest on the hand he held out in front of him, his other hand pressing down on his palm. As Elisanne moved closer, she noticed the glass pieces that were farther away from the rest of the vase, as if they had been thrown. Her breathing halted the second she realized why he was pressing down on his palm, and why the glass had been thrown.

Elisanne rushed over, dropping her lance beside the bed. Kneeling next to him, she asked, "Are you alright?"

As if snapping out of a daze, Euden blinked. He looked up, frowning slightly when he noticed Elisanne's presence. She noticed how vacant his eyes looked and wondered how long he had been awake.

"Uh… sorry, Elly, I didn't…" he drifted off, his gaze falling back down to his hand and the cut that ran across his palm. She frowned as well, not knowing what to do about him. Elisanne did, however, know what was her first priority, leading her to stand up and light the candle on Euden's desk. With another glance in his direction, she made her way to the closet in the far corner of the room where she knew he kept his medical kit.

"May I know what happened, your highness?" She asked.

He was quiet for a moment, his answer hesitant. "I was simply surprised when I woke up. That is all."

"Oh? Is that all?"

It was a sorry excuse, and he probably knew that. There wasn't even an inkling of a doubt in her mind when she said she knew he was lying. Elisanne was no newbie to shouts in the middle of the night, or to the empty gazes of her comrades when they awoke from a dream that was less than pleasant. Alex was enough experience, and that had even been before she had begun to live in the Halidom. Then came the nights she had to deal with her own inner demons. That, along with the occasional palace resident she met when she just happened to be in the right place at the right time, made Elisanne no stranger to the nightmares.

There wasn't any point in mentioning it, however. Elisanne would let him speak for himself, and she would let him decide if he were to trust her that night. Instead of voicing her thoughts, she merely walked back to the prince and helped him off the floor. The bed sunk underneath their weight, and the light wasn't what she wished it to be, but Elisanne didn't have the patience to find a chair for herself to sit in at the desk. Leaning into the light, she began to empty the kit of the supplies she needed. As the silence grew, she knew he would begin speaking one moment or another. They always did.

"I… well…" Euden said, interrupting himself with a sigh. His shoulders slumped, and he shrunk back into the headboard when she looked at him, but he gave up his wounded hand anyway. His voice was quiet when he spoke. "I had a bad dream."

Elisanne nodded. "Do you wish to talk about it?"

"I don't want to hold you up."

"I have time until my shift is over, your highness. Besides, I would do anything to delay waking Ranzal up."

The attempted joke didn't exactly fall flat, per se, but it didn't have its intended effect. With a soft smile, Elisanne put a hand on Euden's shoulder and leaned forward. He didn't look her way, but he didn't shrink away from her touch, either. It was a step forward. Perhaps it was a shaky step, but it was a step nonetheless.

"I'm always here to talk if you need it." She said.

He looked uneasy, she noticed. That was fine. She could do uneasy.

Elisanne picked up the cup of water in the corner of the bedstand, hoping he wouldn't mind. She poured a bit onto a cloth, carefully cleaning the cut on his hand. Besides the occasional wince or two, Euden kept his gaze on the ground. Every now and then he would move his free hand slightly, as if he suspected it to stop working and wanted to make sure he could still move it. Elisanne kept an eye on him, but she didn't say anything.

After a few moments, he spoke again.

"It was about Zethia," Euden said. His voice was quiet like he hadn't spoken in days. "I… um… well, it's kind of… hard to explain. It was like- it was like she was talking to me. It wasn't-- no, it wasn't like anything she had ever said to me before. I don't remember a lot of it, but… uh, but it was just terrifying to be there with her. I don't know why, but it was… it was scary. I… was scared."

Elisanne nodded. The tremble in his voice made her uneasy, and she knew it wasn't over. The confused look on his face added to that, she supposed. So Elisanne set down the clothe and began to wrap his hand the best she could with as much care as possible.

"It was calm, at first. She had this… this look in her eyes and I… I knew it wasn't her. But everything else was her. Her face, her smile, her voice. It was her. But… when she spoke to me… all I felt was cold.

"She told me… she told me she remembered. She said she remembered everything she did as- as the other. And she… she said…" Euden stopped, his breath picking up. Elisanne tapped the gauze down and looked at him. He had the same lost look in his eyes he had when she first came in. They were empty, and his face was devoid of almost all emotion. Her own face softened, and she felt more sympathy than she thought she had. Elisanne kept her hold on his hand and squeezed it softly. He took a deep breath.

"Zethia said she didn't feel anything at all." His voice grew quieter with every word he spoke. "She said she'd do it again. And again. And she said that- that the people she killed… she said they deserved it. And… I thought… I thought she meant it. There was no remorse in her eyes. No waver in her voice. I… I _believed_ her."

Elisanne rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. It was something Alex did to comfort her, and she hopes it had the same effect on the prince as it did her. "Your highness, you know that isn't her, right?"

When Euden finally met her eyes, she wished he hadn't. "How do you know?"

He looked so _lost_.

There had been many times on their adventure that Elisanne had seen her comrade's waver. Many times, in fact, it had been the people around her who fell, and occasionally it was her as well. There were only a couple times, however, when she had seen the prince fall. There were few moments when it happened, and even then they weren't for long. He had built up such a façade that not even his closest friends had noticed how lost he was.

It seemed as if he had fooled everyone around him successfully. Elisanne wanted to hate herself for it, but now wasn't the time.

Elisanne closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Princess Zethia… I hadn't known her for very long, but in the moments I had spent with her, the only thing she showed towards others was kindness. She has a heart just as open and full of love as yours. The things you mentioned… she would never think that. And, if I may be so bold to say so… you know that too, you're highness."

They both sat in silence for a few seconds before Euden shook his head. "No. You're wrong-- she was more kind than I could ever be."

The way he spoke told her he didn't wish to continue on the subject, and she didn't pry. Elisanne only pursed her lips and picked up the medical kit, taking it back to where she found it. She made a mental note to make sure he saw Cleo first thing in the morning. While she didn't have complete doubt in her medical skills, she also didn't have complete faith in them, either. Glass was dangerous, and with how the prince was at this time, Elisanne wasn't willing to take him out of his room to properly make sure he was alright. This would have to do for now.

Before she could make it back to his side, Euden spoke again, his voice trembling.

"Do you think Zethia is in there anymore, at all?"

Elisanne nearly froze, her gaze snapping to his. In front of her, Euden didn't move. He rest against the headboard, knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around himself. His eyes remained focused on the floor. He didn't say anything else. To any other passerby, he could be mistaken for a statue with how still he was.

It wasn't a question she had been expecting, but there was no point in lying. She knew that.

"Truthfully… I am not sure, your highness. However, I would like to believe she is." Elisanne said.

When he didn't answer, she decided to sit down next to him, letting her legs hang over the bedside. Elisanne rubbed her arm, not knowing what to say next. The silence grew awkward. Well, for her, at least. She didn't know what to say, nor did she know what to do. She didn't have any experience in this type of situation. The fact that he was so calm terrified her. Elisanne knew how to handle outbursts, she knew how to handle yelling. She knew how to handle people crying and panicking and their destructive behavior but she didn't know how to handle someone so calm. She had never _seen_ someone so calm before, not while in a state like this.

She wasn't scared. Maybe she was a little anxious, a little fearful of the situation. Most of all, however, she was lost, too. Nothing she had ever experienced was so quiet. So… desensitizing. It wasn't anything she knew how to handle. It was like he didn't feel anything at all, and it gave her trouble meeting his eyes.

There was a mumble from beside her, and she turned to face him. Euden searched the room before his gaze finally settled on hers, and that’s when she noticed the red-rimmed eyes and the tears gathering in his eyes.

"Is it selfish of me to hope she isn't in there anymore?" He asked. His voice broke as he spoke. Not exactly a sob, but it was close enough to make her want to cry, too. "I don't-- I don't _want_ her to be. I don't want her to know what she's done. People would- people would look at her with fear and hate and she would have to live with the fact that she _slaughtered_ hundreds of people and I- I don't want her to- she couldn't live with herself. She couldn't take it."

It hadn't been the first time that night when she didn't know what to say. Elisanne was completely shell-shocked, left staring at the prince as he began to cry. Euden covered his face with his hands, shoulders shaking as he cried. There was no doubt in her mind when she said his sobs were the worst things she had ever heard. Heartbroken and scared and _lost_. He was so, so lost.

Elisanne went against the protocols she kept close to her heart and rushed forward, wrapping her arms around him with all she had. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to react. But Alex hugged her every time she cried, and it made her feel loved and warm and safe, so she hoped it made him feel safe, too.

Euden didn't respond at first. She thought about moving away, but that was before he buried his head into her shoulder and hugged her back.

She considered herself an emotional person. She was open about her feelings, and she wasn't one who was easily capable of holding back her tears. So when the prince only cried harder as he hugged her back, Elisanne blinked away the tears in her eyes and swallowed to keep the waver in her voice down. He didn't need someone to cry with him. He needed a friend, and he needed someone to lean on. He needed someone to tell him it would be okay, so she did.

"It's not selfish at all, your highness. You want- you want what's best for her. You're not being selfish for that. You aren't being selfish for caring for others." Elisanne said, leaning her head against his. In response, Euden only hugged her tighter.

In the months she's known the prince, Elisanne had never seen him willingly give someone a hug. She had never seen him cry. She had never seen him so _vulnerable_ before. Every gut-wrenching sob he let out felt like a stake to her heart. The way he looked so small made her eyes burn, but she couldn't let herself cry. Elisanne had no idea how long he had let this bottle up, or if Euden had ever even talked to anyone before, but she wouldn't let him go like that ever again.

Euden's voice was barely distinguishable, and he was interrupted every other word, but Elisanne heard him loud and clear. "I'm so sorry, Elly. I'm sorry for failing all of you."

She hadn’t known where that came from, nor would she let it go, but she knew exactly how to respond.

"Oh, Euden," Elisanne said, "you haven't failed anyone. You _saved_ us."

Trying to calm him down, Elisanne let her hand rest in his hair, gently combing through them. In the morning, maybe, she would probably be humiliated on the affection she had shown the prince, but in that moment she could only remember what her mother would do when Elisanne came running during thunderstorms, or how Alex did it every time she woke up crying. Tomorrow she could feel embarrassed. Now, she could only feel love and the hope that he'll be all right.

The two of them sat there for a while. Elisanne kept her hand in his hair and held him as tight as she could, the prince's sobs slowed down as the minutes trailed on. The room grew quiet save for Euden's shaky breathing and the hiccups. When he began breathing at a normal pace, Elisanne spoke carefully.

"Are you alright, your highness?"

Euden nodded, tentatively letting go and leaning back. He avoided her gaze once more, staring at his hands.

"Uh, I'm sorry. I… do not remember the last time I've…" He trailed off. His eyes darted between the other side of the room and the bandages wrapped around his hand. In any other circumstance, Elisanne was sure he would be embarrassed, but he looked just as devoid of any emotion as he did ten minutes ago. Euden's eyes were empty once more, but they were brighter. His skin was less pale, and he didn't look as shaken up. That was a win for her.

Elisanne smiled softly. "It's no problem, your highness. After all, friends help each other, right? That's simply what I was doing."

"I think I'm… I think I'll be okay. I am truly sorry you had to see me like this, Elly." Euden said. Elisanne had to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

"As I said, it isn't a problem."

"Even so, if I can make it up to you-"

"Taking care of yourself is all I could ever ask from you, your highness." She interrupted. Euden only nodded in response, though she could see how his shoulders were no longer as tense. She took that as her queue and stood up. "Will you be alright? Do you want to be alone right now?"

For the first time that night, Euden looked up and gave her a small smile. "I'll be okay. Thank you, Elly. Truly. I don't know where I would be without you here."

"It's a good thing I'm here, then."

She had offered to clean up the broken glass, but he assured her he had it covered. That was a hint, she knew, so Elisanne walked towards the door, picking up her lance as she passed it. She opened the door and was greeted with a lighter sky, though it not being completely morning. It was then that it dawned on her how exhausted she was.

Before she left the room, she looked back at the prince. He had blown out the light and was sitting on the edge of his bed, once again staring at his hands. She hoped he would leave the mess for the morning.

"Have a good rest of the night, your highness," Elisanne said, looking back at the prince. Her hand rested on the door handle, but she couldn't bring herself to leave until she got a sign he wasn't going to stay in that position for the rest of the night.

When he looked up, she felt her anxiety go at ease. "You too, Elly. And, uh, you are welcome to sleep in tomorrow-- er, today."

"Thank you, I shall take you up on that." And she meant it.

Finally leaving the room and getting ready to end her patrol, Elisanne closed his door softly. She lingered a few seconds, unable to remove her hand from the door handle. She heard a chair move and a match being lit. There was a soft glow coming from the crack below the door. Before she turned away, she heard a soft _'Euden, what happened?'_ and a kind reply, _'Don't worry, Notte. I will tell you in the morning. Go back to sleep.'_

Elisanne knew he wasn't going to go to sleep again, but she didn't blame him. He had told many of his close friends of the stories he wrote to keep his mind at ease, and he had only told a select few of the letters he wrote when he couldn't sleep. It seems, however, he left out the crucial part of why he couldn't sleep. Though, Elisanne had a sneaking suspicion of who he was writing to. However the case may be, she didn't pry, and she didn't seek to put her nose in business that wasn't hers. Euden would tell her when he was ready, or he wouldn't tell her at all. And that was okay.

The exhaustion pulled at her once more as she began to walk down the hall towards Ranzal's room. She wasn't fond of having to wake him up, especially so early in the morning. She also wasn't looking forward to him inevitably asking why she was late, but it was unavoidable. Elisanne was simply too tired to finish Ranzal's shift for him, and the more she walked on the more she just wanted to ignore that part of her job. Duty was duty, however. There was no way she was going to do half of what was asked of her.

When she got to his room, though, there was a note on the door telling Elisanne that he had already left for his shift. With a sigh of relief, she headed in the opposite direction towards her own room. She quietly stepped inside, setting her lance down next to the rest of their gear. As quickly as she could with what energy she had, she changed into her pajamas and slipped under the covers. Despite how quiet she had been, Alex turned over and faced her with those beautiful red eyes.

"You're later than usual. Any trouble?" Alex asked, interrupted with a soft yawn. Elisanne smiled, looking at the sleep in her eyes and the blonde hair that was an absolute mess.

"No, not… not in the way that you would expect." Elisanne said, moving forward a bit so she was eye to eye with Alex. "It's been a long night. I'll tell you in the morning, okay?"

Alex only nodded in response, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and snuggling close. Elisanne smiled again, laying a kiss on Alex's forehead. Within minutes, she was asleep once more. Even as the assassin she was, Alex always was the one who fell asleep easiest. That especially being true then, when Elisanne wasn't sure she could even get a wink of restful sleep. She was exhausted, however, and knew sleep would pull at her whether she wanted it to or not. She was comfortable, too. Her girlfriend was next to her, and she was safe and warm. So she closed her eyes and wished for a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so starved for angsty euden content that i will create all of it myself. 
> 
> anyway! remember when it was confirmed in canon that euden has nightmares frequently and hasn't told anyone about it haha yeah
> 
> [ follow me on tumblr! ](https://maxinities.tumblr.com/)


End file.
